What happens when you are hit so hard with an emotion you just cannot shake it off? Someone makes you so angry. Maybe they did rightfully so, then what? Or maybe it was a standard with yourself that you broke, should you just shake it off like it was nothing?
This is where emotional power and resilience takes a turn. In part one (https://kel37blah.wordpress.com/2013/09/26/emotional-power-and-resilience-part-1/) we talked about how we are the gatekeepers of our emotion and we have a freedom to choose how a particular event is going to impact us.
So even though we have a freedom to choose and direct our emotions (A skill we want to absolutely develop and hone) what we don’t want is for us to just ignore our emotions completely. Sure there are overreactions we make that should be stopped in their tracks or failures that need to be reinterpreted as temporary defeat. What if we break a rule that we really value? What if we highly value being loyal and then one day purposely let a friend down? Does this mean we should just shrug it off like no big deal? I don’t know think so.
Emotions give us messages and sometimes the best thing to do is to listen to them. Listen to that regret that you have for letting your friend down so that next time you get do better. So next time you can make a finer distinction about who you are and what you stand for. Maybe you have pain for not following through on an internal promise. Good! IF you did not have pain about it you would not see it as a problem. If you did not see it as a problem than most likely it wouldn’t receive a solution.
However, don’t bludgeon yourself with guilt (we tend to be great at that) but recognize that there was a reason you felt this and learn from it. Next time you can take a better action. Maybe you have a ton of pain because you are not where you want to be physically, mentally, or financially. Use that pain but direct it into drive. Direct it into being unstoppable. Direct it into being a relentless warrior. Use it to fuel what you really want in the world or in becoming the person you are meant to become.
“Pain can be your friend if you use it effectively”- Tony Robbins